Wellness Wednesday: Self-Sabotage is a form of Self-Hate

Don't feel bad for putting yourself first. You are your greatest enemy. Read more on what self-sabotage looks like and how to become your greatest ally.

Dear black girl, do you ever get so overwhelmed with the weight of the world that you even forget how to stand in your being. Do you ever feel like an impostor or like you don't deserve the success that you have worked so hard for? Do you maybe even feel incompetent and unworthy of a better life?

So what is self-sabotage you may ask? It is lying to yourself and ignoring your instincts, it is doubting yourself when you are more than capable of achieving something, it is crushing your dreams with your fears and negative thoughts, and it is procrastinating things that you need to start right now, it is prioritizing other obligations before your own. As a woman of color, we are often faced with many stereotypes but also expected to be perfect or to become another statistic. If you have found yourself doing anything that I listed or anything along the lines, please know that you are not alone. In this awkward space, some of us have yet to unravel those things that make us special because of fear. We are afraid of how people will perceive who we are and in doing so, not only do we deny our being but we limit ourselves to maintaining the "mask" of what society tells us to be.

Self-sabotage is destroying and undermining yourself, telling yourself that you're not good enough or pretty enough. The things we say to ourselves eventually become who we are. This is an issue because in order to unravel the full potential and capacity of your being, you must be willing to release any self-doubt, sabotage, and negative energy in your life. We may not be able to control what life gives to us but how we react affects our levels of self-awareness and growth, or lack of it.

How to become your greatest ally? Confidence is key. You may have been told that you'll never amount to anything, that you're too dark or too light or too big or small, or maybe you've been called useless or worthless, but that is not true. The fact that you are alive today is a living proof that you are worth the life you're living, you are important, you have a purpose, and you are beautiful in so many ways. To build confidence you must silence those negative words, thoughts, and people in your life, then fill yourself up with motivational and positive affirmations. Self-awareness and self-care are the opposite of self-sabotage. Self-sabotage breaks you down while self-awareness and self-care build you up. Self-awareness is extremely important for self-growth and for the process of becoming who you were meant to be. It is understanding yourself completely and working towards your best self. Self-care is self-preservation, it's those times alone where you meditate or chill, take yourself on a date, just overall maintaining yourself. There are more ways to be your own ally but these are very significant. Remember that if you end up in a room or place that you thought that you didn't belong, it is no longer a mistake the moment you walk in. So embrace your growth and successes, please do not get in your own way but make ways :)

If you're still unsure of the concept and how to destroy self-sabotage then you can find more information on this link down below.

Video link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FvCUNzrYOaI&list=WL&index=100&t=0s

Article: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/self-sabotage