Journal 2: The Mask I took off to finally see the Light

I was lost. I didn't know who I was, I didn't know that I had a purpose or a future. I didn't know that love could be real or mutual. I didn't know my worth capabilities so I gave myself to others to make or break me. I didn't know who I was. I let the fear of losing keep me from playing the game of life. So for years, I eventually developed a mask to escape the responsibility that I have to myself, that no man or woman could fix this broken and wounded piece of me that I concealed with bright jewelry and makeup of ingenuity. I painted this picture and sold it like it was real and I wasn't real because I didn't know who I was. Then one day someone very special to me, someone finally spoke the most life changing words and said, "Take off the mask, I want to see who you really are". Immediately I broke down and thought about how for so long, I allowed other people to build who I am, not realizing that I became someone else. A deep depression eventually developed in me because from striving to be perfect, I denied my self-expression and who I am. I was living a lie, literally became a robot following daily tasks and rituals. I realized that I don't want to be perfect, I just wanted to be accepted. I would rather be hated for being who I am than loved for who I am not. I am flawed, free-spirited, and awkward. I am finally becoming who I am and sometimes it just takes that one encounter that can change your entire life.

Don't be like me and procrastinate your journey of becoming who you are. I urge you to listen to yourself and to those who have your best interest at heart. It is important to love yourself, learn yourself, and live who you are. There's no need to hide, people who love you will accept and be there for you no doubt. Maya Angelou once said, "If you're trying to be normal, you will never know how amazing you can be". I don't know the people or person that have tried to write your story or paint your picture, or may have even told you that you may never amount to anything, but this is me telling you that you are more than anyone's perception or thoughts about you. Think of glasses-we are all wearing different lenses, so if I try to wear your glasses then I probably wouldn't be able to see correctly. Life is the same, most people only see things through their own lenses so don't allow the judgment of others tell you who you are. There is an excitement and unique energy in being yourself and being different. Please remember that you are amazing and you deserve to have a beautiful life. Thanks for reading :)